The Paradox of Intolerance

For mysterious reasons, I've spent much of this July 4 thinking about the Nazis in Skokie and the paradox of tolerance. As I age I have less and less patience for bigotry and hatred and bullying, and wonder more and more what can be done to curb it, stop it before it starts, and punish it to the full extent of the law. But I do despair, especially when I look around and see warmongering glorified (the tall ships were lovely and the flybys awe-inspiring to an extent, but they're all symbols of war when you get right down to it) and cheating rewarded, even when the media doesn't call it out. I mean, the World Cup commentators looked like they were itching to discuss how much Paraguay cheated and were repeatedly rewarded for it whilst France was punished for their reactions to being punched and kicked and such, but they couldn't bring themselves to use the "C" word at all, cowed as much as our political media not using the "L" word to describe the everyday utterances of those in power. And my goodness, when will we stop idolizing billionaires as if their gains are not mostly ill-gotten? But even amidst the despair there is hope. We have a lovely mayor and tons of lovely citizens who deeply care about making this country better, the TV fireworks were pretty (and we even saw some local bursts out our front window), I got to watch bits of 1776 and Yankee Doodle Dandy again, and once this awful animal-frightening noise is over I look forward to the heat wave finally dissipating.

Happy Umpteen Glorification of Warriors Day

As you can tell, I have no great love for holidays honoring warriors, of which we have way too many in this warmongering country. I'd love to see some balance, maybe consolidate Memorial Day and Veterans Day and Armed Forces Day and such into one big We Need to Remember that War is Bad Day, and have a few more holidays for heroes like firefighters and nurses and teachers. But that's just me. I have nothing against individuals who choose to fight, my starter husband was in the Navy for years and I do have a number of friends who served. But I'm 68 years old and I don't think I'll ever be convinced that killing people or being cannon fodder is a good thing. Peace and love, out...

The Clown Makes Fools of Us All

White Rabbits and happy April Fools' Day, Pen-Elayne on the Web's official high holiday! When democracy threatens to crumble around us it's hard to keep our sense of humor, but it's also critical because that's our way of being critical of the madness. Robin found some nice corporate April Fools' Day sites here, here are some from Auntie Beeb, and I positively love this one courtesy of the Great British Bake-Off. Want more? Here are some aviation-related AFD things, and I really giggled at this entry from our NYC mayor's office.

All the Celebrations

At last, it's not nearly as cold outside now as it's been. Heck, it's even above freezing into the evenings now, and the enthawening has begun (although I predict the snow will still stick around at least until the end of this month). Plus, it being Mardi Gras and the Lunar New Year and the start of Ramadan and Adar and whatever else I missed (oh yeah, a lot of NYC kids being out of school this week), the commute was a lot faster! Even the buses related to the nurses' strike which have been taking up almost all the lanes on Fifth Avenue alongside Central Park were nowhere to be seen today. And since I got in early I treated myself to an early departure (still suffering from a bit of insomnia, although no longer caused by post-falling pain) and got a seat easily on all the public transit. Happy whatever you celebrate!

2026 Has To Be Better

White Rabbits (or Rabbis) and Happy New Year. This was a very long day, both physically and emotionally. As an atheist I wasn't sure how I'd feel about things like shiva. Saying the prayer for the dead isn't about how much you miss them and honor their memory but mostly about how great the invisible sky fairy is, but I felt I had to Keep Peace and Honor Mom yesterday (and everyone at the gravesite was looking at me and my brothers expectantly). I was hoping to be spared the same pretense today and thus declined the prayer book my brother held out for me, and unfortunately that set him off something awful. I believe the phrase "get the eff out of my house" was uttered. However, my Cal-bro made me realize there are times and places to assert personal boundaries and the mourning period for Mom was probably not one of those. So I held the book and kept silent, reflecting on how much I'm going to miss Mom and how she will always be a part of me, and I even held my tongue when the rabbi asked for folks' reminiscences because I'd already said all I'd wanted to say. And afterwards I apologized to my youngest bro for the slight and we hugged it out. But everything seemed tense. Thank goodness visiting relatives helped break that tension, as did a couple of wonderful meals with my Cal-bro and sis-in-law, who couldn't deal with the cold. I mean, we couldn't even deal with the cold, I can't imagine how much worse it was for them! We stayed at the same hotel as they did this evening because I knew the emotional and physical exertion would leave me in no shape to drive home in the dark, something I have trouble doing now at the best of times. I trust we don't pick up any number of diseases from hugging folks, many of whom have probably been ill lately. Let's hope shiva doesn't turn out to be a super-spreader.

Have Yourself A Merry

We had a bit of a blue Christmas this year due to Mom's impending demise. I'd be very surprised if she lasts the night, but she's surprised us before. She hasn't been the Mom I remember in at least a year anyway so I've had time to get used to it, but on the other hand one is never truly prepared to lose a parent. I'll wait to hear from my brother on whether to visit again tomorrow for my final goodbyes (after I've already achieved closure and she's well beyond it but never mind), and in the meantime I busied myself by doing things I enjoy like reading comics (so many that my thumb joints are sore) and spending time with Robin.

Wholly Trinity Redux

As long as Christmas Eve falls on a blogging day, I'll keep putting up my Wholly Trinity for the holidays:

And You Shall Be Upheld in More Than This (about A Christmas Carol)

"I Hear People Singing, It Must Be Christmastime" (about holiday music)

"So That's How He Got the Crown of Thorns!" (about my love/hate relationship w Rankin/Bass)

I'll also be putting up my Christmas Carol Checklist on Facebook shortly. Have a peaceful holiday!

Winding Down

Work is done for the next week and a half, and all my alarms are now turned off. Heard from my brother that Mom is pretty much in final decline and headed towards hospice care, so we were right not to make any specific plans for the foreseeable future, as I'm unsure she'll live to see 2026. Not entirely unexpected, once you start refusing to eat your body doesn't have enough fuel to heal itself any more. I have all kinds of reactions all at once, but mostly acceptance at this stage, as I came to terms with things last year. I just don't know how much my life will change after she goes. But one step at a time.

In Keeping with the Season

Even though it was a work from home day, I'm still way too tired to write about it, especially after we had a bit of a family meeting regarding Mom's situation and What Happens Next. So I'll just leave you with the last Randy Rainbow of recent weeks:

 And you know, so it is.

Bubbling and Squeaking

The holiday table is all set up; the bowl filled with copious amounts of sugar-free chocolate goodies we've been buying was the piece de resistance. No card wreath this year since we won't be sending out cards. t's all I can do to keep myself together, between Mom's situation (slowly improving again) and my impending birthday week. But having the fiber optic tree trimmed and festooned does provide some sort of comfort, and between that and Robin (who is always a comfort!) I'm okay at the moment. We got through about half of the Beatles Anthology remaster, and will probably finish it again by the end of the weekend. And the bubble and squeak today was delightful.

Graditudinousness

Yeah, that's how Robin and I talk sometimes. In any case, I'm grateful that yesterday I got to see Mom, who has taken a turn for the worse today so we're back to a day-to-day watch to see if she's going to rally again or face the worst. With sepsis infections it's often this type of waiting game. But she's in the best possible hospital, they've cared for my brother and sis-in-law on a number of occasions, and as I mentioned in yesterday's post they impressed me greatly, so I live in hope. I'm also grateful for a job that allows me to buy food for the Thanksgiving table, and for the wisdon that comes with years that teaches me that less is sometimes more, especially when Robin doesn't have the appetite he used to. The most labor-intensive thing I made was the apple and chestnut dressing; the Marmite gravy (surprisingly tasty!) was a cinch, the sprouts were just boiled with some lemon glaze (not worth it, I think they've gone past their best), and everything else was microwaved. The Macy's parade was a bit bewildering, as it is every year when I recognize fewer and fewer celebrity performers, but it led me to check out the K-Pop Demon Hunters movie as at least five of those heavily Autotuned songs are Grammy nominated and at least four are on the Billboard Top 100, so I feel a bit less removed from that now. Tomorrow we start rewatching the newly-mastered now-9-episode Beatles Anthology, which we haven't seen since it first came out as 8 episodes. So yeah, grateful again for my job that allows me to have the money for streaming programs. Lastly, grateful it wasn't that cold today, as the landlord still doesn't provide enough heat, but that's a convo for after the holidays.

Hallowind

I'm feeling much more back to normal, even though I've been up since around 4 or so. Aside from not being able to find my Peanuts Halloween pants (which nobody at work can see anyway but they go with my Peanuts Halloween shirt) I'm pretty relaxed, work was fine, as usual we got no trick-or-treaters (nobody knows this row of four houses exists except the tenants), I'm all caught up on finances in time to pay the rent tomorrow, and I'm ready for my big project of sorting my office stuff tomorrow. I signed the waiver today to use the fitness center in the office building, so I should be all set to at least check it out on Wednesday, but in the meantime I'm back on the home exercise bike again. Forward movement as we say goodbye to October winds! Man, it's howling out there... Oh, and it looks like the 2025 World Series is going to seven games after all. Not a complaint!

And So Begins September

White Rabbits! Robin tells me the two doors down party went well past 2:30 AM, so I'm grateful for the closed bedroom window and earplugs. Now it's the hot tub folks making the noise, but they should be finishing soon, giving way to the next door neighbors who are just as loud. In the meantime, we had a pretty nice Labor Day during the quiet hours. I once again picked up my graphic novel history of the Wobblies but only made it through a few pages (dry reading and the art isn't that good, which is probably why I put it away all those years ago). Robin scorched the obligatory meat, I took care of the side veg, and even so we couldn't finish the burgers. And I've had four days in a row of exercise biking and not wearing the hallus protector, so I'm all set for tomorrow, I hope!

In a Pickle

The country, certainly. Goodness only knows what a mess we'll be in next year at this time for the 250th anniversary of our declaration of independence from the last tyrant. But I can't think too much about it, it permeates my sleep and generally leads to despair and an inability to take any sort of personal action. And personal action is what drives me forward. Today I pickled my radishes and got more organizational things done. I've been neglecting personal upkeep but this weather just takes it out of me, so I'm hoping to get back on the bike tomorrow, if I can get some sleep when these local fireworks stop..

No Foolin'

White Rabbits, and happy April Fools' Day, where it's never a good idea to believe anything you read on the internet, even in this age of the Gish gallop. The WaPo, which still retains its "Democracy Dies in Darkness" on some pages, has a good overview of many April Fools' corporate pranks, but it now appears to be behind their paywall. As for me, I got very little sleep, I'm mainlining nasal spray and nose drops like they're going out of style, yet somehow I got through my workday and the dental office, where SURPRISE! I got fitted for not one but TWO crowns. I left my laptop at the office as I'll be getting my periodic hemoglobin fasting blood draw tomorrow before I go in, same medical complex as today's dentist. I have no idea why my body decides to break down just as I have medical stuff to do...

Armed and Ready

Made it through another work week, didn't take any pills for the arm but wore a wrist brace and elbow brace for much of the day, in addition to utilizing my nifty heated under-keyboard pad. Robin does buy me the coolest things; I also have pink fingerless heated gloves now, in addition to 30 "forever" roses which look absolutely stunning, better than the real thing, on the corner table by the living room air conditioner. In return, I agreed that a Valentine's Day sushi delivery was more than appropriate; I can't remember the last time we ordered in. I'm as set for the weekend (including a rainy visit to Mom on Sunday, I hope) as I can be...

And So It Begins

White Rabbits! Is a Tesla cybertruck full of explosives blowing up in front of a Trump property in Las Vegas too on-the-nose for the start of 2025? How about an ex-military failure plowing his vehicle through Bourbon Street revelers? It's going to be a take-your-pick-of-disasters kind of year, isn't it? As much as I wish technology could slow down just a bit as social evolution catches up to it, I wish that twice as much for our more violent, base, lizard-brain tendencies, but with the incoming administration I just don't see that turning around any time soon. And with that, I'm done with the holidays and ready to get back to work on a lot of different levels.

The Boxing Match

Happy Boxing Day, and Liverpool FC is at the top of the Premier League table! A few really nice footie games today, punctuated by exhaustion as neither Robin nor I got much sleep last night. He was able to get in a few naps, but I want to make sure I sleep through the night as tomorrow we venture out to NJ to see Mom. We did make it to the local sushi place to spend our December coupon and whittle down my credit on one of my credit cards that I paid twice (because, it being December, they didn't get the check until the day after the deadline and my half-20th-century brain hadn't thought to pay online), and afterwards I spent a bit too much time in the reading room, which explains my relative lack of appetite. I like to believe the miso soup righted what was wrong with my gastrointestinals, but maybe that's just wishful thinking. A decent night's rest and I'll be right as rain, which is not scheduled to happen tomorrow.

Holly Jolly

In our house mistletoe (the fake variety) hangs over the hallway entrance year-round, so we're always kind of in the holiday spirit. Good job too, because our Christmas meal was less than ideal. The veggies really needed to be parboiled before I roasted them, which I will note for next time. The cran sauce was deemed a bit too sweet, I should have squeezed that second orange into the mixture after all. And the meats were underwhelming. At least we have each other, and loads of Christmas movies; I actually saw another few versions of A Christmas Carol on cable today. And around 4:30 PM I lit the first candle in the menorah. Mostly I'm grateful we spent a relatively cold day not doing a darn thing besides basking in each other's company. Here's hoping your Christmas and Chanuka is/was everything you want it to be.

Once Again: The Wholly Trinity

It's Christmas Eve again, so in between watching versions of A Christmas Carol I'm putting up my Wholly Trinity for the holidays:

And You Shall Be Upheld in More Than This (all about the aforementioned A Christmas Carol)

"I Hear People Singing, It Must Be Christmastime" (about holiday music)

"So That's How He Got the Crown of Thorns!" (about my love/hate relationship w Rankin/Bass)

Enjoy! And remember, tradition is merely peer pressure from dead people!