Pen-Elayne on the Web

Creepy Spam of the Day

I usually don't respond, but this time I had to: Someone named Rebecca O'Roake spammed me:

Hello,I represent a company called Star Position -- a company that does what's known as advanced search engine placement. We reach a network of over 22 million people who are predominantly US based. Our network is entirely opt-in, and the users on our Network allow us to present them with a preferred choice whenever they are looking for anything on the top sixteen search engines (MSN, GOOGLE, YAHOO, etc.)

I seek one reputable source to send my clients on our Network to for information on explosives. I would like to speak with you on this.

Please contact me at your earliest convenience. I will be in the office today and tomorrow from 8:00 AM to 6:00 PM Central time.

Best Regards,

Rebecca O'Roake
Business Segment Analyst, Star Position
Phone [deleted]

P.S. We would also provide you with real-time tracking information.

My response:

EXPLOSIVES?

Boy, do you have the wrong spam target, lady!

I have zero interest in explosives. The darn things make me itchy.

Plus they can, you know, KILL people.

Please delete this email address from any future spam correspondence you send.

I mean, ewww.

I wouldn't be surprised if Homeland Security goes after you for this.

- Elayne Riggs

And, you know? I wouldn't be surprised at all.