Elayne Riggs' Journal (for Leah)

Friday, February 11, 2005

Valentine's Day - A Feminist An Elayne-ist Analysis

[This is in response to MediaGirl's first annual Feminist Valentine Blog Awards contest. Thanks for the pointer, Trish!]

I've always liked Valentine's Day. When I was in elementary school, as I recall, it was mandatory for all kids to make out Valentine cards to all the other kids in their class so nobody got left out, and it was cool for this crybaby outcast to be included for a change.

Plus, Daddy always bought me this large heart-shaped box of candy every year and I'd use the empty boxes to store stuff (very often Valentine cards). It helped a lot during those lonely, angsty, hormone-ridden teenage days when I never thought I'd ever find someone to love, and I hated all the other couples my age every Valentine's Day. And when I'd come back from college for the occasional weekend around that time of year, Dad would have a choccie box waiting for me. This tradition continued till Mom and Dad decided to "snowbird" and spend their winters in Vegas, but as I recall Dad still brings back a choccie box now and again. Granted, the stuff is probably a bit more edible prior to May, but you know it's the thought that counts. And now Robin gets me choccie boxes (or Godiva during more prosperous years). Chocolate is lovely for the old endorphins, and the fat content of this most comfortable of comfort foods (yes, I am planning to watch many of these shows, why do you ask?) is particularly welcome during the cold weather.

The thing I don't like about VD (as we used to sniggeringly refer to it) is how it's marketed in the mass media. Oh, sometimes it's okay even if a bit manipulative (I wussed at an Emeril rerun featuring two couples getting engaged right then and there, even if it was the guy proposing to the girl in each case), but mostly a Valentine's Day celebration is commercialized as something a man does to a woman, rather than something a man and woman do together. I'm a hopeless romantic (yes, both male and female feminists are allowed to be romantics), and to me something that involves just one half of a couple and isn't reciprocated doesn't count as romance. This is doubtless a longwinded way of saying "screw you, DeBeers," but you probably knew that.

So the thing I like best about VD is that it's like the "Christmas season" - i.e., romance and affection are not things to celebrate only during a certain time of the year. I count myself very fortunate that, with Robin, just about every day is Valentine's Day. Being loved unconditionally, and being willing to love someone else unconditionally, is one of the greatest things we can do as human beings, and speaks to our potential as higher beings to someday evolve and leave hatred and war and such behind us.

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