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The Flatbush Waltz and the Oscars

Yesterday my friend Jan and her friend Jim gave their annual Spring Gastronomic & Musical Potluck Soiree. Robin and I made probably the best bean salad I've ever done, huge at an even dozen different kinds of beans (I could have hit lucky 13 but I despise lima beans), which leaked a bit on the 1½-hour subway ride down to Brooklyn but arrived mostly intact and went very quickly considering how much I made. The gastronomy was mostly terrific (I had the best chopped liver ever, sorry Mom I know it's your birthday tomorrow but it's true, the chopped liver was even better than yours... please content yourself with the success of the bean salad, as it's essentially your recipe after all) but the musical portion seemed rather more potluck. I felt a bit overwhelmed, all these folks were very Kulchah'ed and here was I with my little blog and my "European" artist husband feeling very outclassed and talentless. Of course, it's always all about me, isn't it? Anyway, the performances we heard were uneven (one of my favorite songs, Tom Lehrer's "Masochism Tango," was performed by a woman with a lovely voice far more suited to opera than satire), but the violinist really stood out. Among the pieces he played was "Flatbush Waltz," which I think is this one by Andy Statman (it's been awhile since I've read music but the notes look about right), and before playing it he noted Leonard Bernstein's quote, "This will be our reply to violence: to make music more intensely, more beautifully, more devotedly than ever before."

So it's in that spirit I'm going to delude myself by watching Oscar coverage today, albeit with seatbelt fastened, as the Guardian opines that it's already turning out to be a bumpy ride. Obligatory Personal Predictions, bearing in mind I've seen almost none of these movies (heh):

Best Picture: LotR and Peter Jackson should get it next year when the trilogy's done. The Pianist just won the History Channel's Harry Award (don't ask), but Roman Polanski still hasn't done his jail time so Oscar won't reward him. The Hours will be saddled with the "chick flick" kiss of death. Gangs of NY is epic but from many accounts boring. Conclusion: Chicago. Goddess bless musicals!

Best Actor: Day-Lewis and Cage chew lots of scenery. Brody's too new. Caine probably deserves it, but didn't he just win one? Conclusion: Jack Nicholson, with or without shades.

Best Actress: Hard not to vote for Hayek after her hilarious campaign on SNL, but I think she's a long-shot. Zellweger sings! but possibly seen as having more of a supporting than lead role. I've heard that Moore and Lane both gave great performances, but Oscar loves Nicole, I mean they really really love her. Conclusion: Nicole Kidman.

Best Supporting Actor: Kind of a "who cares" category for me this year, I confess. Newman's perceived as a leading guy, so giving him a supporting trophy (for a "comic book movie," yet!) might seem disrespectful. Reilly could pull it off on the theory of ubiquitousness, but nobody really knows who he is yet. Walken's probably perceived as two 2-dimensional (in terms of his persona, not his acting). Harris is a guy in a chick flick; see above. Conclusion: Chris Cooper.

Best Supporting Actress: I'm personally rooting for Kathy "snowball's chance in hell" Bates or Queen "same for her" Latifah, but I dinnae think so. Zeta-Jones could ride the crest of a Chicago, but I think she only wins if Zellweger does. Streep's big hoo-hah was the record-breaking nom, I don't see her winning. Conclusion: Julianne Moore, possibly as consolation for her not getting Best Actress.

Best Foreign-Language Film: Well, Spirited Away isn't in this category, so I'll do an eeny-meeny and say China's entry Hero.

Best Animated Feature: This is where Spirited Away will knock 'em dead, although I wouldn't be that disappointed if Lilo & Stitch took it, I saw that a couple weeks ago and liked it far more than I thought I would.

Best Documentary Feature: Michael Moore will keep making history with Bowling for Columbine.

Writing/Adapted: Hollywood, like many of us, loves self-proctology. The question is, how will Charlie Kaufman's imaginary twin brother be on hand to accept? Will they be able to pull off a split-screen thing like they did with Barbara Eden during the TV Land awards?

Writing/Original: Probably Pedro Almodóvar 'cause he's also an Oscar darling, but I'm still rooting for Nia Vardalos. I despise the attitude of looking down one's nose at My Big Fat Greek Wedding just because it's a comedy. It was an enjoyable romantic movie that reminded a lot of us way too much of our own families and I'd like to see Vardalos take it.

Cinematography: Chicago because LotR isn't in the running.

Costume Design: See above. Also because people prefer glitzy razzle-dazzle to mudsoaked 19th-century tophats.

Art Direction and Sound and Visual Effects: LotR, because it's in the running, although Spider-Man's visual effects were mighty fine.
Two other predictions:

There will be at least one ad that will make me smile, and probably at least one government-sponsored PSA that will make me want to hurl.

Barbara Walters will be as unwatchable as usual, but Joan Rivers will be mandatory watching in a train-wreck kind of way, and will be dressed far worse than everyone she disses.
Off to watch On the Town and gear up for this evening.
Update: Just one more in a series of examples of Hollywood's relentless self-absorption (when, darn it, it's all about me, not them!): An exceptionally twitty E! "online correspondent" talking about the dove peace pin symbols some stars are going to wear tonight, regarding their publicists' response to queries (no doubt his own) about the manufacture of the pins, opining that it was a shame that (due to it being the 75th anniversary of the awards, I guess) they wouldn't be made out of diamonds.