Elayne Riggs' Journal (for Leah)

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Anger Management

Very good post by The Poor Man yesterday about how some right-wing radicals will not only never be happy, but in fact seem to live for their self-righteous anger. Sayeth Andrew,
It's not an incomprehensible urge - I read David Brooks simply to irritate myself, and I follow the madness of Kaye Grogan not to get angry, exactly, but for a kind of bemused contempt. Less masochistic people may enjoy watching inane or awful movies, or particularly terrible TV shows, or occasionally hanging out with their stupid next-door neighbor just to hear what sort of stupid things he'll say today. It's fun to be angry or contemptuous sometimes, especially if it can be directed at something which you really can't take that seriously, which really, by itself, doesn't matter. It gets the blood flowing, which is nice, and it reminds you that, no matter how much of a a loser you know you are, there are people out there who are so much worse, so you can probably fool the world for awhile yet. People may not always approve, but it’s good, clean fun, and it keeps your teeth pearly white. No problem there.
Well, I used to think that way too, until yesterday. I've slowly been coming to a realization that, while this sort of anger might provide a momentarily adrenaline rush or sense of smug self-satisfaction, it can also impair judgement and in fact become quite dangerous depending upon the circumstance. And one moment of flauting one's perceived superiority just isn't worth that kind of aggravation.

I quickly remembered this when I got behind the wheel regularly again last summer. My commute is so short that it makes no sense to cut people off or exhibit other hazardous behavior, nor to get upset at other drivers doing so. In a traffic jam caused by the impediment of traffic flow I lose anywhere from 30 seconds to maybe 10 minutes at the very worst; big effin' deal. If the impatient bozos ahead of me screw up the flow and it's in my power, I try to drive so as to restore that flow for the drivers behind me. But I don't get angry. Sometimes I amuse myself by calling someone an idiot for not following through on the basics (the use of turn signals, suddenly opening a driver's side door on a narrow street just as my car passes), but they don't hear me and my head-shaking never even comes close to road rage.

For some reason, though, supermarket checkout lines were a different story. I would often make all sorts of remarks to Robin (frustrating him to no end) about the nimrods ahead of us in the queue, flaunting one rule or other - too many items in a "10 or less" queue, not keeping control of kids, screwing up in their payment method, etc. Every little thing annoyed me like I owned the supermarket or something. Well, no longer. Henceforth I'm applying the same calm laissez-faire attitude I have on the road to checkout queues, whether in supermarkets or department stores or what-have-you. The fact that I almost got into a brawl with a very angry Irishman at the local Yup Emporium yesterday may or may not have everything to do with this newfound attitude (and besides which, karmic justice visited me instantly in the form of a geezer trying and failing repeatedly to squeeze past big ol' me in the narrow aisle getting us both pinned there about four times whilst completely ignoring my pleas to "just back up, then I'll back up and you can get through" before it finally sunk in). But that's entirely beside my point.

Which is that anger may give us a momentary rush but it also saps us of energy far better employed in more constructive endeavors. Is it better to feel an instant of satisfaction that you've "won" a meaningless confrontation that's forgotten in the next instant, or to feel a lasting satisfaction that you've actually accomplished something worthwhile (and/or made someone feel better rather than worse) with that rechanneled energy?

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