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Le Grand Libération

Yeah, I know, I'm probably mangling French grammar, but oh well. Last night an extraordinary thing happened, which will require a bit of background and your indulgence as it's a personal thing (nothing icky, I promise!).

To the best of my spotty recollection (Steve would probably remember better than me, so I invite him to embellish upon the details), about 15 years ago I developed some lower back pain and started seeing a chiropractor, who as it turned out probably made things worse. About a month after the start of my sessions, Steve and I were walking around the Village with friends and Something went out. Something Big. And as I recall it laid me up and had something to do with my sciatic nerve being pinched and at the time our doctor still made house calls thank goodness because I could no longer walk and, with meds and about 3-4 days off my feet entirely, I was able to get back to work and find a physical therapist close to my office at the time, which is how I became friends with Jan and Maury but that's another story I suppose.

Anyway, since that time I have accepted that, while Jan has helped me tremendously in terms of teaching me how to move properly, initiating better hip rotation (my inability to utilize my hips properly when walking, possibly developed as a defense mechanism against catcalls, may have been another reason the nerve wound up pinched) and helping me develop a normal gait, some things have just been beyond my reach. My left leg has somehow felt "shorter" and less mobile than my right, and has had a tendency to cramp up at any time without warning (lots of fun in the ob/gyn office, I can assure you!). Getting in and out of cars was rough unless I did it Just So (almost always sliding in on the left side). Even standing still for an appreciable period of time (like in a queue) or sitting at my computer for hours on end has been tricky and exhausting if not outright debilitating. My stamina had decreased accordingly, which tends to initiate rather a vicious downward spiral. And, as everything in the body is so interconnected, I think a lot of the muscle aches I've had over the years have certainly been exacerbated by that pinch.

Well, last night I was lying on my stomach, trying to "loosen" my lower back by doing various stretches, and for some reason asked Robin to hold my ankle and foot still. I stretched a certain way - I don't know how, I certainly couldn't duplicate it at will - and felt Something release. Not just the little releases and clicks I get from regular stretching, but something major. Something I never thought I'd feel again.

I stood up, and it felt like my legs were the same length again. After all these years, my weight suddenly seemed evenly distributed once more. Nothing was seizing up. My hip rotation and range of motion were no longer diminished! Whatever we did, I think it resulted in a reversal of whatever had first gone wrong all those years ago.

Now, I know not everything will wind up corrected overnight. I still have and expect various age-related muscle aches. I can't bend the toes on my left foot the way my right toes bend (actually, I'm afraid to try for fear the leg will seize up again; that's the surest way to induce the cramping). I'm not putting aside Robin's mum's otter-head walking stick just yet. And I'm reluctant to move the wrong way for fear that whatever was set right will go out again. But if, after a couple days, this situation holds steady, I plan to go back on the exercise bike and take more walks (with the otter) and see how much sensible activity my body is now able to handle and, well, generally get physically healthier again. I feel like a great gift has been returned to me, and I'll be damned if I waste it.