Pen-Elayne on the Web

Michael Rennie was ill...

I have to figure the new and wacky spam I've been getting has been a direct result of this blog, because my Yahoo account was kind of quiet otherwise until about a week ago. Anyway, it's been a hell of a morning already, with me getting all snippy at someone who runs a comic book news site (my fault, not his, but I'm too stubborn to admit it) and watching the Today Show criticize Al Gore for actually acting like he's a member of an opposition party, then riding the apartment building elevator with one of the Upstairs Neighbors From Hell and suffering a particularly uncomfortable commute on the too-small seats of the "1" train with a Tourette's fellow across the way and a homeless woman berating riders for not paying attention to her (reminding me again of how I'd been treating the poor comics news site fellow), so I was in a sort of edgy, tense and self-recriminating frame of mind to begin with as I arrived at work.

And I check my Yahoo mail and delete the usual spam and I get the following presumably mass e-mail from complete stranger "Imaginal Diffusion Agency", addressed to "PlanetaryRescue," entitled "Planetary Renaissance & Galactic Intelligence Invitation," and it starts, "Galactic Security serves the will of the Galactic Alliance [yadda yadda]... Your planet has been in a state of confinement since that most tragic occasion one hominid generation ago, wherein one of your 'national' forces ignited atomic clusters over populated areas of another 'nation' [yadda yadda]" and on and on and "Hominids of Sol3, you have the opportunity to evolve into a Galactic civilization, or reduce yourselves to ashes on a burnt-out wasteland" and on and on and "You have a choice, Earthlings, to reconnect with the Galactic Alliance [yadda yadda]... Continue to blindly follow behind these military 'madmen' in their petty 'national' wars over resources and power, and you will be living in what you have described as 'Hell. Heal the disease of disharmony and hatred among your race, and your planetary garden will shortly be restored to what you have described as 'Heaven.' The choice is yours, for each and every one of you..."

And all I could think was, boy, Klaatu sure did this better and more succinctly fifty-one years ago. But then, I always wanted to be the Patricia Neal character.