Reminders

Due to my sitting shiva this week, the 12th Carnival of Feminist SF and Fantasy Fans has been postponed until Monday, when I'm home and can more fully concentrate on things. So far I have nine submissions, which is just fine because I'm going to combine the Carnival with all the Estrogen Month: Pop Culture Edition posts I've made, doing a table like I did two years ago, and announcing the addition of at least one more feminist pop culture blogger to my sidebar.

I also wanted to mention, for anyone wishing to make a donation in the memory of my father, Alex Wechsler, that the Hebrew Free Burial Association has an online donation page set up, as does the Jewish National Fund (to plant a tree in Israel). The HFBA notification box asks for mailing information; my address can be found on my résumé, which in turn can be clicked to from my sidebar.

Patterning

It's Saturday, and you're not allowed to sit shiva on the Sabbath. Mom, Jay and Kara just went off to synagogue, so I'm by myself in Jay & Kara's dining room. I don't do shul, I don't even do dresses. Surprisingly, this appears to have been understood and accepted.

Unlike certain other aspects of how I live, which have come under increasing scrutiny the longer we're in this enclosed atmosphere. A part of it is that the close quarters and lack of outside stimulation make for circular conversation, and nits just tend to get picked after a few days. There's also the tendency to circle the wagons and march in lockstep, and it's hard to maintain a separate identity if one's resistance has been worn down from trauma and exhaustion. One tends to fall into deeply ingrained behavior patterns. As Camryn Manheim observed, "Parents know how to push your buttons because, hey, they sewed them on," and it's been interesting to note how many sore spots Mom has gently irritated that I'd previously thought were strictly Dad's purview.

But behavior, like the brain itself, can often be repatterned. I may revert a bit when I'm in this sort of situation, but my own life will reassert itself on Monday when we get up from shiva, and I will continue on with the patterns that best suit me and Robin. Family will always be important, as will my community of friends (both in person and online), and I will balance it all as best I can. As Mom says, "baby steps." Whatever little negative things have come up this week, it's all small shit. This too shall pass, and I'm sure I will emerge a stronger person, as I always have in the past.

Friday Cat Blogging (™ Kevin Drum)

I see them in the background when Rob and I videoconference, but I still miss them.



I wonder if they miss my pants.

On Minchag, and Listening with One Ear

Part of sitting shiva has consisted of a learning process -- not just learning about Dad from people who knew him from different perspectives than I could ever have had, but learning more about myself in response.

One thing I'm trying to better learn is the discipline of listening. I never felt like Dad was particularly proud of me or understood me very well, and Mom has assured me that wasn't the case. She suggests I may have only "listened with one ear" regarding such things. On the other hand, I know he never seemed to feel as though being involved in entertainment-related hobbies (writing, singing, acting, etc.) was worthwhile and, though I believe Robin's ability to make a living as a freelance artist was beginning to disabuse him of that notion, I think there would always have been a divide between his understanding of worth as primarily financial and my view of it being primarily soul-satisfying.

We've been talking a lot over the week about how different families adopt different customs when it comes to mourning. Much of what is written about the process is not hard and fast law (halachah in Hebrew), but subject to individual interpretation, or minchag (custom). Jay's friend who led yesterday's prayer service was talking to Mom and me about how fascinated he was by how Jews from different parts of the world treat things like challah, all the ways it can be braided and shaped depending on where the family is from. Everything initially comes from halachah but the minchagim are the personal spins we each put on those laws and strictures.

Even though I can't really see beyond day-to-day at this point, I know I'll be thinking a lot of my own minchagim as regards Dad's death. I imagine April's going to be a fairly quiet and reflective month for me, as I get back into my work and living routines. But however I choose to spend this next year, it has to be what works best for me and for my life with Robin, and I'd like to think that's how Dad would have wanted it.

Drained

I didn't realize how exhausting this mourning period would continue to be. I have even less energy today than I did yesterday, if such a thing is possible. I didn't sleep much at all last night, my sciatica is much worse (due in part to walking up and down uncarpeted stairs in my slippers), I'm not seeing very well (not a real surprise considering how much of a workout my tear ducts have gotten, combined with this annoying twitch I keep getting on my lower left eyelid which I think must somehow be related to the sciatica) and my range of motion is shot. My sister-in-law is teaching me some stretching exercises to increase movement but all they seem to be doing now is increasing pain, possibly because I'm so tired.

Reading your comments and other blogs has really buoyed me through this time. Of particular interest or amusement to me, and therefore posts I highly recommend, have been:

• Bint Alshamsa's inspirational essay about living with cancer, as a reminder to people wondering about Elizabeth Edwards' strength that "incurable" and "terminal" are not necessarily synonymous.

• Tom Russell's analysis of why it's hard for many writers to get a handle on Wonder Woman, and why meta-fiction just isn't satisfying storytelling (hear hear).

• The Truffle's comparison of argumentative Usenet trolls and reactionary pundits, and how laughter is her best medicine in dealing with both.

I'm looking forward to recovering my equilibrium a little more, at which point you'll see a mess of catching up here. I'm just not sure when that's going to happen.

The Writer Through the Years

Yesterday was one of the most emotionally exhausting days of my life, and I hope to not see a day like it again for a long, long time. I shoveled dirt over my father's casket along with half the attendees to the gravesite ceremony, I hugged more people than I can count (Dad would have been so happy to have seen so many caring folks!), I cried infinitely more tears than I thought were in me, and I read the first eulogy. [Whether or not I ever print that eulogy is up to Mom.] I thought my brothers did a much better job focusing on Dad, especially Gene who didn't have anything written down and just spoke extemporaneously. My remembrance wasn't exactly "all about me" but more about how I related to Dad, of which I was conscious, but my reasoning was that this was the only time I would get to say to Dad what I needed to in the way I needed to.

And I was half right. The cemetary's only about a half hour from where we live, and if I want to I can go and "talk" to Dad more easily than just about everyone else in my family. Heck, I still talk to him in my heart all the time, because that's where he is. So I know parts of the eulogy were the selfish writer's ego talking, the need to have an audience hear me discuss my never-ending quest for the perfect words that would finally have succeeded in my father understanding and accepting me and my life choices, how that quest was the reason I became a writer, and how in the end it didn't matter because love transcended all that.

Lots of folks approached me afterwards with kind words about the eulogy, and that same selfish writer's ego prefers to believe they actually thought it appropriate and well-written rather than that they were just saying that to be comforting and nice. But what's really interesting to me is the kick everyone seemed to get out of my old college paper about my father (and mother) that I wrote for a course called Your Family In History, which I had placed on the coffee table in my brother Jay's living room (we're sitting shiva at Jay's house). That was almost 30 years ago, and many folks said they learned quite a bit about Dad from reading that (as I had when I wrote it). I just wish I'd been a more skilled writer back then. At one point I actually referred to a couple, I believe my maternal grandparents, as "homely." I know I could not have meant it that way at the time, but my memory isn't good enough to capture my mindset from 1979 and try to figure out what word I'd actually wanted to use. But little things like that really amused the readers yesterday, who appreciated the lack of pretense and the heartfelt impulses behind it.

I think I'm still the same kind of writer I was then. Sometimes I think I was better, more imaginative, when I was back in college, but then I cringe at some word and structure choices, just like my relatives did yesterday, and realize that I've become more skilled with experience. I wonder if my Dad ever saw any of it and whether any of it ever made him proud. I know it shouldn't matter but it does, even though I'll never have that answer. And my quest for the perfect words continues, but now I do it for me.

Estrogen Month - Update*

Laura G here again. My apologies to anyone who expected Elayne's lucid posting, she left me the keys to the blog and I felt that this bit of news was far too Estrogen-Month-notable to not post about.

A female blogger was recently threatened anonymously on-line, which in and of itself was noteworthy and enough to make the average blogger see red. But now BBC News has reported on the threats. Think for a brief moment about what that means. A major news organization is reporting about threats made to a female blogger. True, the article isn't substantial, and doesn't say anything that most of us didn't already know, but hopefully it is exposing the reality of the 'net to people who otherwise would not have noticed.

Some choice quotes from the article:

"The police are investigating while the blogosphere has launched its own enquiry.

One of the issues raised is the question of how women bloggers are treated online."

...

"Much of the blogosphere has rallied round in support of Ms Sierra.

Robert Scoble, author of popular technology blog Scobleizer, condemned the campaign against her.

"It's this culture of attacking women that has especially got to stop. I really don't care if you attack me. I take those attacks in my stride. But, whenever I post a video of a female technologist there invariably are snide remarks about body parts and other things that simply wouldn't happen if the interviewee were a man," he said

In response, he has decided to temporarily stop blogging and has turned off functionality that allows people to post anonymously."

Dare we hope that greater awareness that there is a problem will help to get rid of the problem?

*Substitute Estrogen Gal Post

The World Outside

As mentioned yesterday, it looks as though the daylight hours this week will be spent mostly sitting around with family and visitors talking about Dad, who will be laid to rest this afternoon. But I just read what I consider a highly inappropriate comment from a first-time commenter who still should have known better, and I feel obliged to comment in return.

JM, I've deleted everything in your comment after your first sentence. I'm surprised I need to explain this to a fellow Rutgers person, but maybe you just never learned certain social graces. Offering a few token words of condolence to someone you don't even know, then immediately launching into an off-topic ramble about some current event or other -- no matter how vital you believe discussion of that event to be -- is not really a condolence at all, it just makes your comment so "all about you" it might as well never have been made. I know you're probably just bursting to discuss the politics of the day anywhere you get the chance, and I promise you I will be too, soon enough. (I think I may have interested my Mom in watching Keith Olbermann last night, although she still seems highly skeptical that he's earned the Mantle of Murrow and therefore considers his signoff a bit presumptuous.) But not now, okay? Not here, not this week. My blog, my rules.

Part of me is itching to post more, to keep in touch with the world outside the family enclave. And if I'm not too drained at the beginning or end of each day, I'll try to do so. I might even do a little Estrogen Month catch-up posting if I have the energy. But if there's ever a time to be a dutiful daughter and sister, this is it. I don't care who feels it's selfish -- I need to prioritize, and I need well-meaning first-time commenters to understand that as much as the other 99% of you, whose expressions of sympathy I deeply treasure and for which I thank you again.

Donations

My family has asked that anybody wishing to remember my father (Alex Wechsler) can make a donation in his name to the Hebrew Free Burial Association.

Blogging Update

The wifi at my brother's house works fine, but after tomorrow's funeral I'm not sure how often I'll be able to use this laptop for blogging or anything else. It all depends on how many people come in and out of the house paying us shiva calls, as during that period the family is obligated to sit and receive visitors. Evenings will probably be busiest. So if I blog it will be Saturday (when you cannot observe the ritual) or late night/early mornings, and that's all dependent upon my mom's needs. Just to let y'all know.

The Grieving Process

My mother and brother Jay have just arrived back in New Jersey. My father's body will be flown in later today. The gravesite funeral is tomorrow, and the family will be sitting shiva at Jay & Kara's house from Tuesday evening through Friday afternoon, then again on Saturday evening. Robin and I leave for Millington in a few hours with our laptop and my various necessities for the week, and will be reachable by email or cell phone for those of you who wish to pay shiva calls and get directions to the house.

As I've said previously, I'm not sure exactly what will happen during the shiva period in terms of me blogging -- or anything else for that matter. All I know is that my family comes first. If I can't do any more Estrogen Month posts this week, I'll make up for it next week and the Carnival of Feminists Fantasy and SF Fans will just be posted late, no big deal. Thanks again for understanding.

Estrogen Month - Day 25*

Hello, Laura G here. Time for my second guest post on Estrogen Month in popular culture. Today's focus is comic creators.

First up, over at Blog@Newsarama, Wayne Beamer uses a short mention of William Moulton Marston, the creator of Wonder Woman, in another article to expand on Marston's life. There is a great quote from a Reason article: "Unlike most intellectuals, Marston celebrated the popularity of the comic book form and saw it as an opportunity to get kids to read -- and to circulate radical feminist notions."

And now a word from our sponsors: Dark Chocolate is GOOD for you! (Ok, no sponsors here, but the article seems Estrogen-y to me).

Moving on, Colleen Doran, creator of A Distant Soil, has a powerful entry on repentance and what it REALLY means. Those who've been wronged in the past, or done somebody wrong, ought to read it. Because while there's something to be said for forgiveness, it is not unreasonable to expect that the person asking for forgiveness be truly contrite and willing to make a reasonable effort at reparations. Our society doesn't seem to understand this basic fact: saying "sorry" doesn't make it all better. If you've wronged someone, you have to make amends, to do your best to fix the problems you caused. Then you can say "sorry". Until then, it's an empty gesture.

I hope you enjoyed my links and thoughts, and here's Elayne's closer paragraph:

The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form).

*Substitute Estrogen Gal Post

Thank You

As I'd hoped, it has helped to have my close friends around me during this time of non-closure between death and funeral. At least one of those friends recently lost a parent as well, and was able to help comfort me in all sorts of practical ways. Also great thanks to Laura for doing this weekend's Estrogen Month: Pop Culture Edition posts.

I'm not sure what my blogging's going to be like for awhile. The family isn't yet certain of the logistics as far as getting back to New Jersey. I'm probably going to have the laptop with me at my brother's house for the shiva period after the funeral (and even that may be cut short with the onset of Passover) so I can try to lose myself in the virtual world and in fulfilling at least my obligation to Ragnell to host the next Carnival of Feminist SF and Fantasy Fans (wow, a whole bunch of things in that one title that my father never understood) next Saturday, but I really won't know how things are until the official mourning period begins. The actual Carnival posting may be delayed until I'm home again or until the beginning of April.

I will resume posting Silly Sites after the shloshim period, as my Dad liked his silliness. I will try to give this blog new daily content during that time but no promises. I will attempt to continue posting new daily content to the best of my ability on ComicMix as well, but I've been graciously granted as much time as I need to work through this.

I appreciate everyone's understanding and sympathy during this time, more than I can ever articulate.

Estrogen Month - Day 24*

Hello, Laura G here. Elayne asked me to sort of fill in on Estrogen Month this weekend as she's going to be busy at I-CON and didn't want the extra stress. I'm not really good at very focused posts, unfortunately, because my mind never seems to settle too long on any one topic, but I'll give it a go for a couple of days, and you all can be just that extra bit happy when Elayne comes back!

As the topic is Estrogen Month in Popular culture, I thought I'd focus a bit on my favorite pop culture topics. First up is Feminism and Doctor Who, in which Susanne Saville discusses (on the Livejournal Doctor Who group) the way the new Doctor Who series is focusing less on adventure and more on the relationship between the Doctor and his companion, and not always in a positive way. In particular, the argument spotlights the episode that features the return of Sarah Jane Smith from the old series, and how we learn that her life revolved around the Doctor. As Susanne says, "That could have been the story of *a* Sarah Jane, but that wasn't *our* Sarah Jane." The consensus does seem to be that the new Who leaves a lot to be desired from a feminist standpoint, and sadly I can't disagree.

To finish today's post, I'm going to tackle the issue of Harry Potter. This thread at the Chamber of Secrets forum has been going strong for four and a half months. I haven't gotten through all of it, but it covers most of the aspects of the women of the Harry Potter universe, and how they are perceived by the people in our universe. Worth a stroll through, if you have the time.

I wish I was as good at this as Elayne, and if I fill in tomorrow, I'll try to get a little closer to her concept. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy my links, and here's Elayne's closer paragraph, so I don't look completely foolish:

The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form).

*Substitute Estrogen Gal Post

The Healing Process

Not a lot of sleep last night, as you might imagine. But we leave for I-CON in a couple of hours, with my family's blessing. All arrangements will be taking place after this weekend, so I believe the shiva period will officially begin on Monday or Tuesday, although I've done a couple of private observances like covering the mirrors in our apartment. And we'll light the candle for Dad when we return tomorrow. In the meantime, I know what I need most of all now is to have my chosen community around me. "Being surrounded by family and close friends often helps mourners cope with the immediate loss." I know these friends won't judge me too harshly for wishing to be among them today and tomorrow while my father's body is prepared in Nevada to be brought back to New Jersey, where the the family will gather in the coming week.

Thank you all.

Bye, Daddy

My father took a turn for the worse today, and has just passed away. He did not suffer any pain.

Friday Cat Blogging (™ Kevin Drum)

Amy waits, relatively patiently, by the bedroom closet door.



She's waiting to be lifted up onto the closet shelf. She loves being in high places.

Estrogen Month - Day 23

As I'll be surrounded by a nice fannish community this weekend, I wanted to spotlight a couple community-building things perpetuated by two women listed in my Bloglines "Where the Women Bloggers Are 2 - Kultcha+Otha" section. Those who haven't had time to peruse that section as part of the Estrogen Month: Pop Culture Edition nominating and voting game may not have seen them, and as I support both ideas I wanted to pass them along.

• On Friday, April 20, Jeanne Sessum of Allied will be participating in the first annual Poetry Fest for PanCan, the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, in memory of her father who died from pancreatic cancer when he was in his 30s. Her goal is to raise $500; please consider sponsoring her.

• Michele Agnew has a great way to Spread the Comment Cheer. How you play it is you leave a comment in her section that says hi, then you visit the person who commented above you and leave a comment on their site that says "Hello, Michele sent me." I think we should do something like this in the comics blogosphere, but of course, this only works on blogs with fairly active comment sections (which Pen-Elayne isn't, for reasons I've yet to fathom).

Lots and lots of comics bloggers have been decrying the unfortunate rendition of Power Girl drawn (badly, the consensus has it) by Michael Turner. Via When Fangirls Attack, I've found two more folks I want to spotlight today for Estrogen Month: Pop Culture Edition which use this piece as a launching point for thoughtful essays.

• Brown Betty of Sturdy and Serviceable gets it very right, to my mind, when she notes "it's not about her breast size, it's that apparently her breasts are so crucial that Turner couldn't be bothered to get the rest of her right." To be honest, the first thing I thought when I saw the art in question was that it reminded me of Rob Liefeld's rendition of Captain America. Seriously, side by side comparison:



It's about the chest, sure, but it's more about the chest in relation to the rest of the body, particularly the neck and head. Anyone who's taken basic anatomy drawing classes should be well past this stage.

• And Megan from Dude! It's a Chick! is frustrated that some artists are missing the point in thinking the Turner PG thing is about anatomical realism (when superhero comics are by their nature anti-realistic) because, among other reasons, they've never had to handle the very real cumulative effect of their privileged gender being consistently and significantly objectified. If fantasy worlds promise escapism, it stands to reason that many of us want to escape that mindset as part of our "power fantasies."

I'm going to try to keep these EM posts going through the weekend, as we'll have our laptop with us in Stony Brook and Rob assures me the hotel in Ronkonkoma has free wifi, but considering everything on my plate and on my mind I'm making no promises. The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form). See some of you at I-CON, I hope!

Silly Site o' the Day

I loved Rebuses (Rebusim?) when I was a kid. Remember the game show Concentration? That's where I first saw Rebus puzzles. Naturally, this being the internets, nowadays you can make your own. I don't have the patience to figure out how to save it, but it's fun to create anyway. Via Gerard.

Estrogen Month - Day 22

One of the more encouraging signs about the impact feminist thought is having on pop culture is all the male bloggers reiterating versions of "enough is enough" in response to comics and other entertainment that they find sexist. Two examples of this in the past day include posts from Charles Yoakum on how villainesses and "bad girls" always seem to be depicted as (and in many cases defined by being) freer with their sexuality, as well as more severely underdressed, than heroines; and Kevin Church giving a scathing review to a new superhero manga title [my mistake, he actually liked the book despite - or because of - its sexism, so I guess he's less of a "fellow traveler" than I made him out to be]. A lot of supportive posts by guys are covered regularly by When Fangirls Attack, so don't let that blog's name fool you, men can be just as feminist (and outraged) as women!

Today's spotlight is on RL Williams of The Essentia Sphere, who seems to have number of pop-culture interests ranging from comics to TV to music to fashion, and good solid opinions on all of it, many having to do with her disbelief that some people seem to be dumber than rocks. Remember, don't drink the Stupid Water!

The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form). Still holding at only 7 entries (or entrées, if you will, since I plan to do an Iron Blogger kinda theme), but with I-CON this weekend I hope that increases.

Silly Site o' the Day

Nothing new to report on Dad's condition, and my family's asked me to refrain from posting any more specifics, so henceforth please assume that no news is good news and I'll have more general updates as and when the situation merits. Mom thanks everyone for their continued prayers.

So we're getting ready for I-CON, and last night called the hotel to make sure our reservation was still intact (alas, no "non-smoking" rooms have opened up yet at the convention rate, so we remain on the waitlist for one and we'll probably pack an air freshener in case our "smoking" room reeks too much) and went through the pilling-the-cat process with Lillian, who got quite the scratch on her neck when Robin handed Datsa to her to hold but didn't complain a whit. Looking forward to my yearly glimpse of the worlds of the fantastic this weekend; maybe they'll even have a panel on how to run your own cult (via Jim A)...

Estrogen Month - Day 21

My newest column is now up at ComicMix. This one's about my involvement over the years with Friends of Lulu, and since comments aren't up on the ComicMix site yet you're more than welcome to comment on my columns here. While Lulu's not exactly "sucking me back in" again, Robin and I are going to be working at the New York chapter's table this weekend at I-CON, so if you're around "Lawn Guylan" and want to take in a nice relaxing sf/fantasy-oriented con, come on by the Lulu table and say hi. We'll also be doing a few panels here and there, and any local fans of the DC comic Manhunter who want their copies signed can get that done by both the inker (Robin) and the writer, as Mark Andreyko is one of the con's guests. One of the best lead-female kick-ass character comics not being done by women (except on the editorial side, hi Joan and Rachel!).

Before I forget, some good reading for feminist pop-culture folk:

• Richie at Crimitism has an interesting post on how a webcomic called The Wotch handles gender-bending (disappointingly, in his opinion). Via Melinda Casino at BlogHer.

• Ken Jennings talks about using gender neutral language in his book Brainiac.

• An encouraging note in Ross Campbell's open invite to Draw Power Girl is how many fan artists have decided to lose the "boobhole" in their costume designs for her.

• I know it's not pop-cultural, but in keeping with Estrogen Month I did want to note this post by Sokari at BlogHer about African women's blogs. I know a few of them from the EM posts I made two years ago, but it's nice to see some newer ones too.

• Lastly, one of the best bloggers around on Native American culture, MB Williams of Wampum, appears to be closing up shop. I'll miss her exceedingly. Wampum has hosted the annual Koufax Awards for liberal blogs for the past few years, but it's certainly too early to speculate where those will wind up.

Today's Estrogen Month: Pop Culture Edition spotlight is on Willow from Seeking Avalon. A lot of her posts are very keen feminist comics analyses, one of the more recent of which is in response to Darren about the cognitive dissonance between the writing and the art in comics which feature strong-voiced women drawn as if they're on display. Granted, in the visual aspect of comics everyone is technically objectified, it's the nature of the beast, but the job of the artist is to tell the story so that you forget the characters are static objects and buy into the illusion that they're autonomous beings that move and act. And too many female characters in comics don't "move and act," they just pose. Much of that is a testament to the artists' lack of skill and craft, and it pisses me off that these guys get so much professional work with that low a crafting level. But a lot of it is also laziness and too much reliance on outdated comic book "shorthand" which perpetuates the incorrect notion that comics exist primarily as outlets for the male gaze (rather than primarily to tell a story using words and art).

The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form). I've gotten 7 entries so far, and hope to get more at I-CON this weekend. Keep 'em coming, folks; thanks!

Silly Site o' the Day

Spring has sprung, the grass is ris, and I know where the flowers is. 'Cause 'round here the grass is still buried 'neath the St. Patrick's Day ice/snow mixture. That should be gone by tomorrow, when spring-like weather finally arrives. And after talking to Mom this morning I feel a lot calmer, so I think I'm finally starting to come out of my winter pain doldrums as well; now if only that darned sciatic nerve would unpinch! I'm packing my walking stick and allergy pills for the trip to Stony Brook this weekend, so I should get by okay. Meanwhile, I'm trying hard to catch up on other things...



The above button is from Giant Glass, which lets you create pictures and buttons and all sorts of nifty things. Via Gerard, of course.

For the Fembly

Today's update on Dad:

I had been missing what I consider a crucial bit of information, and it's probably my fault as I hadn't even thought to ask Mom. But I learned when talking to her this morning that Dad had been conscious and talking and everything after the accident. He and Mom were at the hospital getting their injuries seen to, and after a couple of hours he had a very bad headache, and it just so happened this particular hospital is like the trauma center not only for Nevada but for practically the whole frickin' southwestern US, so they just happened to be in the absolute best place for his condition, and the doctors put him under and have been in control of his situation all the way through.

Mom loves the nurses there too, which is saying a lot because she's a retired nurse who worked in hospitals for years and is very discerning about the quality of care. At this point it's still a waiting game, they'll bring Dad out of sedation either tomorrow or Friday, but it helps a lot to know he was conscious and moving about just fine (relatively) before they put him under and operated. I'll call my brothers later today and talk to Mom again tomorrow morning.

Oh, and for the curious, the bastard who plowed into their car did not get away, as his vehicle was pretty crunched up and undriveable as well (and his insurance is responsible for all my parents' car and medical bills). I know it's just a by-the-way, but the lizard-brain part of me (that's the part I inherited from Dad) wanted to make sure that justice was done.

Now that the first full day of spring is here, I can honestly say that, despite the record warmth, this past winter really sucked for me, and I'm glad to see the end of it.

Estrogen Month - Day 20

Finally spoke with Mom this afternoon, and she gave a fairly positive prognosis about Dad as well, adding she didn't want me to fly out to Vegas, so I'm sitting and waiting for further news. Although Dad's moving his legs and uninjured arm, he'll be sedated until at least tomorrow, so I probably won't know anything more until then. I'm going by the adage that no news is good news.

So between that and my boss getting ready to go on a week's vaca, I'm very grateful indeed that someone actually emailed me asking if I would spotlight her blog, saying "I do pop culture stuff and I'm a proud feminist." More than good enough for me! Her handle is Medbh and her blog is Dante and the Lobster, so named after her favorite Beckett story. She specializes in discussing those paper things with covers that you turn the pages and-- ah, books, that's what they're called. So 20th century! She also seems to specialize in things Irish, appropriate considering St. Paddy's has just passed.

The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form). Six entries so far; woo-hoo!

Silly Site o' the Day

I know, but I need to post something in order to feel like everything is still going to be okay. And my sister-in-law, who called this morning, said the prognosis for my dad looks very positive. So, onward. Kathryn informs us of a Flickr application that renders photos into floral or feathered representations. I'm not on Flickr, but it seems to work if you just type a word into the space.

Update in the Air

My brother Jay called again at about 1:30 AM. Dad had just gotten out of surgery, saying the doctors told Mom they were successful in stopping the bleeding. Dad's still sedated and they plan to bring him out of it gradually. My brother Gene is already in Vegas by now, and Jay's flying out today. Don't know yet if I'm going, that'll depend on what Mom wants. So I'm carrying on as usual and pricing Vegas round-trips just in case. Thanks for your good wishes, all.

Up in the Air

My brother just called to tell me my parents have been in a car accident. My father is having surgery to stop the bleeding in his brain. I may be a little out of it for awhile; at this point all I can do is await further word.

Silly Site o' the Day

I haven't yet heard from my boss, but I lost at least two hours this morning because our offsite IT person had to fix an email problem I was having, so I've just started on the Interminable Project again and am hoping he won't ask me anything at this point. I've just been told he's on his way in; so much for doing any ComicMix news today. Here, have fun watching this stop-motion animated bit called Game Over (via Xeni at BoingBoing).

Estrogen Month - Day 19

Wow, what a great pick-me-up for a strenuous morning! Via Jessa at Bookslut, here's Shaenon Garrity analyzing what she decides to dub The Worst Damn Comic in the World. Shaenon's a fixture in the webcomics world, and a keen observer of the industry. Spotlight on Shaenon today, woo-hoo!

The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form).

Estrogen Month - Day 18

Lack of sleep and too much to do make for a grumpy blogger. I'm glad Estrogen Month: Pop Culture Edition is starting to get noticed, mainly by some of the people I'm spotlighting, but I wish others would start kicking in their suggestions! Oh well, even if it's just for us, we count too, don't we?

Take redlib at Redhead Fangirl, for instance. She had a great St. Patrick's Day post spotlighting an Irish comics publisher which totally fit something I'd wanted to do for ComicMix yesterday, so that's one more post I'd never have made otherwise. We all gotta help each other out, interblog participation and all that. Don't mind me, I'm babbling. Thanks redlib.

So it was real tough deciding who of all the worthy folks I've mentioned this past week should go on my sidebar but, since I actually know her in real life, Randi Mason gets the edge here. Welcome to my sidebar, Randi! Not to say some others (especially the ones who've participated in the comments) won't be added as well before the month is out, but I'd really like you to be the ones voting on that. Come on, join the fun!

The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form).

Silly Site o' the Day

It hasn't been a good day. I completely forgot to take my medications yesterday, only remembered today at around 3 PM, slept very badly -- went to bed at 1:30 AM after my eyes refused to focus any more on the stuff I'm typing for the day job's Interminable Project, then tossed and turned until 3 AM, then up at least three times again during the night before giving up altogether at around 8 this morning -- my car may not make it out of the icy parking area tomorrow morning, and I'm not even halfway through the work I'd promised my boss I'd try to get done. I guess the operative word here has to be "try." At this point if he wants to fire me in favor of finding someone else to take on all this crap, he's pretty much welcome to. It's hard to bring myself to care any more.



School sign generator via Gerard.

The Eatin' o' the Green

Every so often Robin and I get a little silly. (Okay, more often than that.) The avocados I'd bought a few days ago had ripened by today so I decided to make a little salad. Naturally I started noticing all the green ingredients I was using, and then the peripheral green in the other ingredients, and before we knew it Rob was framing the photo:



His idea to put the obligatory Guinness and (background) Irish breakfast tea among the foodstuffs. In the bowl is the cut avocado; the plate in front of that has a cut lime and scallions, as well as chopped cilantro in frozen-then-thawed cube form. Then of course the tomato stems, garlic mill cap, tuna can labels and hot sauce label are all green. If I'd thought of it I'd have brought out the celery too, just for the photo.

Estrogen Month - Day 17

I found the perfect spotlight post today. It's by Patricia from Quilters Muse. Did you know today was not only St. Patrick's Day but National Quilting Day? Well there you are, some people are into other hobbies besides mass media. Or, in this case, in addition to. Patricia's post, entitled Comedy and Fantasy as Teaching Tools, begins "Oddly enough, I woke up this morning, thinking about comic books." So how could I resist? It's a light comparison of highbrow and lowbrow art, drawing the conclusion "Perhaps fine literature is to comics/cartoons/and fantasy, as symphonic music is to folk music. All have their place. In each case, they use some of the same words, and some of the same notes, yet each genre is entirely different." Some good food for thought.

Tomorrow I announce the newest addition to the Kultcha Gals section of my sidebar blogroll. The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form).

Silly Site o' the Day

Top o' the Interminable Data Entry Project to ya! Yeah, busy working this weekend. So, what's your Leprechaun name?

Leprechaun Name Me Leprechaun Name is, sadly, Cabbage Lips O'Leary

The Leprechaun Name generator is via Gerard.

3-Way

What a cynical world we live in, where nobody could even conceive of guessing that tonight's Jeopardy! 3-way tie would be that everyone won the same amount (which is a first for the show), rather than that they all lost (which has apparently happened once before). And that so many are now dismissing it as trivial or a non-event.

Granted, the returning champion was what Robin and I call "an $01 person," having presumably bet a single dollar more than his nearest competitor in a previous game in order to -- I've always felt -- rub his victory in his opponent's face by risking the least amount he could to still ensure a win. So perhaps he wasn't a likely candidate to think what I've always fantasized of thinking were I in that circumstance: "Hey, I'm in the lead by x-amount, and if these two other folks bet everything they have and win, I can actually create a 3-way tie by betting y-amount, then we'd all be winners, and that would be cool!"

Because a win-win-win situation is a very cool thing, darn it all. And it's not trivial and it's not a "non-event" and it's the kind of thinking we need to encourage a lot more in this world.

Update 3/17: Via Mark Evanier, the player who created the 3-way tie, Scott Weiss, explains why he did so on his LiveJournal blog:

I thought it would be really cool to be a part of Jeopardy history. I knew that meant I'd be playing seasoned opponents, but it didn't matter to me. I had already won a couple of games myself, and I thought it would be neat to share the money...

But there have been other unexpected benefits. A schoolteacher present at the game came up to me and said I taught the kids a great lesson in sportsmanship and generosity. Cecil and I have become good friends with Anders and his wife Juneko, and Jamey and his wife Beth. Juneko made Beth and Cecil gorgeous glass pendants commemorating the tie, and she made a teddy bear for Ragnar out of felt. I just got a note from Anders asking what charity I'd like him to donate some of his money to.

Some people, maybe even many people, seem to think the wager was a mistake. But I don't think so. I can't say I was 100% altruistic in my decision. I liked Anders and Jamey; Anders and I had talked at lunch about cryptics a little, and Jamey seemed like a fun person. (Maggie commented to us before the game as to what a good time I seemed to be having, and Jamey half-joked that he hoped I'd have a little less of a good time then.) But I really wasn't thinking about them. I thought more of the show. I've been watching Jeopardy! for all of its 23 years. Yesterday I got to give something back. How many players or even champions get the opportunity to do that?

Giving something back, and getting far more in return than you ever thought you would. The intangibles. This is what it's all about. Hooray, Scott!

Estrogen Month - Day 16

It's hard not to think about warmer climes in this weather. And with a weekend of catching up ahead of me (if I can fit in video viewing amidst all the other computer work I need to do), my mind drifts toward, as Bullwinkle used to say, "Hollllywood, with three or four l's."

So I wanted to spotlight two blogs by women working in the television industry. They may not be outspoken feminists in their posts, but I think they both serve as great role models anyway. The first is Jenna Fischer, who portrays probably my favorite current secretarial character, Pam on The Office. Jenna's sparkling personality shines through on her MySpace blog, although it's sometimes hard to tell where she ends and Pam begins. Lots of nifty behind-the-scenes stuff and general cheerleading. If you're looking for something a bit meatier, try Jane in Progress from Jane Espenson, one of the hardest-working and smartest writers in the business. Espenson is generous with writing tips and structural analysis, which might be a bit process-wonky for some but I love it.

While I'm at it, I just wanted to get two open bookmarks out of the way, as I probably won't get to do a blogaround until, well, maybe next month the way things are going. My "blog daughter" and Pen-Elayne techie Laura Gjovaag has a terrific post up on, among other topics, the problem some readers have with anyone who's a non-categorizable blogger. And the fact that everyone's gearing up to watch Jeopardy! tonight because "something will happen that's never happened before" (most folks are betting that it ends in a 3-way tie with all contestants having $0) reminded me I'd been saving this Ken Jennings post about fanfic. (Of tonight's episode, Ken says "it's not the kind of amazing event that will be showing up in headlines and YouTube tomorrow, and Great Game Show Moments clip specials for the next decade. This is not the Price Is Right boob-slip (or whatever the nearest Jeopardy! equivalent of that would be). It’s fanboy trivia. But if you're a Jeopardy!-ite like I am, and the show’s not pre-empted tonight for basketball in your market, you might want to set your TiVo.")

Only two days until I add another one of the women I've spotlighted so far to my sidebar blogroll. Whom will it be? Don't forget to voice your opinion! The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form). Three submissions received so far; keep 'em coming!

Friday Cat Blogging (™ Kevin Drum)

Cats have the right idea in this kind of weather.



Actually, this is pretty much the idea they have most of the time when we're awake. I wish they'd have it more often when we have it as well.

Silly Site o' the Day

The good news is, my boss sent me home at noon when the snow turned to ice, and what turned out to be a scary enough commute probably would have been worse had I lingered even an hour longer. As it was I passed two major spinout accidents on the highways, one on the Cross County (other side) and one on the Thruway interstate (our side, diverting traffic from three lanes into one). The sodium nitrate smell from the flares helped keep me awake through an otherwise very somnambulant commute, and now I'm home and staying put until at least Sunday.

The bad news is that my boss sent me home with work, so I'll be sitting at the computer doing more of That Interminable Project for the next three days, trying (seemingly in vain) to make it more terminable. Which probably means less blogging, both here and on ComicMix, but we'll see how well I multitask and how quickly I get through things.

Given all that and Friday Cat Blogging (to come) too, aren't you glad there's a random kitten generator? I sure am, and so's Gerard.

Estrogen Month - Day 15

Beware the ides of feminist pop-culture bloggers! Today's spotlight is on a lass who calls herself Lake Desire, blogging at New Game Plus, whose motto is "Dismantling Patriarchy One Video Game at a Time." Her latest post is a rebuttal to a variation on that same old "but we can't see you women, you're obviously not blogging or doing comics or whatever!" You may recall this cartoon I put up during Estrogen Month a couple years back:



Yeah, it's real easy not to see any women bloggers when you seem to go out of your way to avoid them!

The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form). Only two submissions received so far, so there's plenty of room to plug your posts!

Silly Site o' the Day

Thanks to Tom Peyer, I found a site which says I rock 100%. I've never rocked 100% before. But if you go to Sucks-Rocks and type in "Pen-Elayne" as the search term, it gets a perfect 10 in non-suckitude, aka rockitude! I r00l, d00dz! Or, um, something like that. I'm sorry, I don't know how to text-message and my l33t-speak skillz are teh suck. That's how you kids say it, isn't it? Why do I get the feeling that perfect 10 score is about to lessen?

A KP Reminder

One of the benefits of Ashkenazi Jews having settled in America is the Passover tradition of not eating kitniyot, which are products made with corn, rice, peanuts, and legumes (as those things are also used to make bread, and beyond that don't ask me 'cause I get confused). This is above and beyond not eating chometz (anything that contains barley, wheat, rye, oats, and spelt, and is not cooked within 18 minutes after coming in contact with water). Yeah, it's one of those fun holidays.

Actually though, the benefit I meant is that, because the eschewing of corn products has become so ingrained, and because just about every supermarket nowadays has a Kosher for Passover section, you can find lots of nice stuff around this time of year that isn't made with corn syrup, the ingredient I personally suspect plays a far larger part than manufacturers would have us believe in keeping Americans unhealthy. So now's the time to stock up on corn syrup-free cola, jams, etc. Go nuts! Oh no wait, nuts are legumes, aren't they...

Estrogen Month - Day 14

Today marks not only the posting of my newest ComicMix column (feel free to comment on it here) but the anniversary of another uphill battle. Yeah, we've come a long way, haven't we? And I'm not sure White Day (thanks, Bint!) can make up for it. But you know, I read this post by Rachel Edidin about the next generation and it gives me hope.

As do so many wonderful feminist pop-culture bloggers out there. Like the intrepid Marie Javins, currently in No Hurry in North Africa, posting lots of cool stuff from her base in Egypt. In keeping with our plug of the Hathor Legacy yesterday, she visited the Temple of Hathor and took photos. And she seems to be getting around just fine as a woman on her own in the Middle East, but it helps that she knows the language and is a seasoned traveller. Really fascinating stuff!

The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form).

Silly Site o' the Day

Can't post a lot; busy. At least my commute is still nice. Although I do feel like spreading these around sometimes. Via Augie.

Estrogen Month - Day 13

One of the great things about comics conventions in the 21st century is the way every enthusiastic fan seems to have his or her own blog, so reconnecting with old friends is often just a matter of exchanging URLs. One of the more unexpected delights on Day 3 of last month's NY Comic Con was meeting up with Randi Mason, who just happens to have a LiveJournal blog called Thoughts, Clippings, and Utter Nonsense. Randi's a librarian, a pal from our Friends of Lulu days, and a very prolific blogger. The blog seems to specialize in finding interesting bits of online pop culture ephemera, like Stump the Bookseller and Album Insanity. Randi's more on the lighter side of things than the polemical side, but we can't all be fiery feminist standard-bearers or things would just get overwhelming and exhausting, wouldn't they?

The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form).

Silly Site o' the Day

Still really sleepy (Datsa wanted way too much attention in the night) but I'll try to wake up enough to blog a bit on ComicMix and here, as well as finish up my weekly column tonight. Let's play a game again, shall we? How about a "chick game" courtesy of Lifetime? You know you want to. Geez, can we get any more girly-stereotyped? "The Queen's Jewels"? "The Princess' Tiara"? "MAKEOVER Game"?? Via the decidedly non-chick Augie.

Estrogen Month - Day 12

Thanks to the folks who answered my questions yesterday about group blogging versus individual blogging! I'm still in awe of y'all who can find that kind of time. Since she participated in the comments, I wanted to spotlight Robyn Fleming, aka Revena, from the group pop-culture blog The Hathor Legacy, which boasts an impressive number of entertainment categories on which its very feminist participants pontificate in "the search for good women characters!" You'll be going through this one awhile, I think. THL also includes Jennifer Kesler, aka BetaCandy (heh), and an Australian code-named Scarlett. (Hathor was an ancient Egyptian goddess, often worshipped as a cow deity; go Wiki her!)

The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form).

Silly Site o' the Day

Sorry about that; today really got away from me! You'll notice I have a grand total of one item up at ComicMix today. With my boss back in the office I decided to concentrate on pushing through as much as I could on the humongous data-entry project he gave me at least a few months ago, but as I'm given little privacy and he was in for awhile I had to deal with lots of interruptions and then, after he'd left and I was sure I'd actually get through a piece of it, the IT consultant arrived and commandeered my computer for the next hour and a half. He was finished about 4:55, just in time for me to pack up and head home to pick up Robin for some food shopping and dinner (naturally, very slow service on the latter).

So I just got home, and I'm more tired than ever, and pissed to boot as my local Citgo has suddenly become a Getty station, which is no different than going to the Lukoil station on Broadway (which I wound up doing), so now I need to go a bit more out of my way to maintain the buy-cott, and I'm just not sure it's worth it. I figure, as long as it's not Saudi oil I'm probably okay with it, so that leaves BP (North Sea) and Getty/Lukoil (Russian), but I still want to support Citgo... Anyway, so I have a little over two hours to catch up on posts and other writing stuff, and I may as well start with a silly site of sorts that was on Digg called the 404 Research Lab, filled with imaginative "page not found" variations, most of which seem to be from real websites rather than being created whole cloth. Gah, and now I need to finish up my ComicMix column and do today's Estrogen Month post. I'm sure that 40-hour day I ordered is coming right after I finally get my personal jet pack (been waiting for that one since 1975)...

Estrogen Month - Day 11

Today I wanted to throw out another question in addition to our usual Estrogen Month: Pop Culture Edition participation (see below for links to guidelines). That's because today I wanted to spotlight group bloggers, specifically Liz Losh of Sivacracy as she brings welcome news about "the speakers at the third annual Living Game Worlds conference at Georgia Tech. The theme is Playing with Reality, and many of those in the line-up are experts on how videogames can serve progressive political or social agendas, or they address the rhetorical or ideological character of games." It's terrific to see a pop culture-related and particularly tech-related event with what looks like a female majority. As someone with little to no knowledge of computer game worlds (my desktop is apparently not fast enough for Second World, and my first world is hectic enough for me as it is) it does my heart good to see so many women taking leading roles in exploring this area of culture that's far more popular with the younger sets than with fogies my age.

But as blogging is still popular with us all, here's my question (actually series of questions). This is addressed to women participating in group blogs: What drew you to participating in a group blog as opposed to running one yourself? Did you ever have a blog of your own and decide to close it down in favor of "going group"? How about those of you with both individual and group blogs -- how the heck do you find the time? (Between doing EM:PCE here and gathering news items for ComicMix I feel like I'm stretched really thin!) Do you post a certain way on your own blog and a different way on a group blog? Please leave responses in the comments.

As it's Sunday, I also wanted to announce the latest edition to my blogroll. Seeing no nominations in our comments section, I'm going to choose again from the bloggers I've spotlighted so far and officially add Heidi Meeley to my blogroll; welcome, Heidi!

The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form).

Silly Site o' the Day

Time time time, see what's become of me... I got the clock by my bed, my desktop and the clock on my computer table, the clock on the oven and I'm waiting for Robin to do the rest. Losing an hour of sleep sucks, but I do like the ease of just pressing one time to move ahead an hour (rather than keeping my finger on the button to move ahead 11 or 23 hours, i.e., backwards an hour, in the autumn). Could do with some brekkie, though.



Pretzel Font Generator via Gerard, of course. You can even add a pretzel clock to your blog:

Unfortunately they don't tell you how to get rid of all that empty space under the clock...

Estrogen Month - Day 10

It's always a treat when Karen Healey's RSS feed starts working again. I've now been through her last two months' worth of posts, and feel like every single one is a gem. I particularly recommend Every Time I Move, her Blogging Against Sexism post; Black As Hell, Sweet As Sin, ostensibly about Fetching Him His Coffee; and the hilarious Misfit Reads Your Mail. Brava, Karen!

And via the comments on her message board, Karen has also led me to lots of new women pop-culture bloggers, whose blogs have now been added (along with some links I'm grabbing from the indispensable When Fangirls Attack) to the "Where the Women Are 2 - Kultcha+Otha" section of my Bloglines subs for your (and my) perusal during this Estrogen Month: Pop Culture Edition.

Another lead I got from Karen is her new co-blogger on the Girl Wonder site, Rachel Edidin, an assistant editor at Dark Horse whose blog is called Inside Out. Like Karen, Rachel is an unapologetic feminist with bold opinions and her writing shot right out of the gate at full speed. She only has a few posts up so far so catching up will take you no time at all, and I highly recommend doing so. I quite liked her most recent two: Be Vewwy, Vewwy Quiet–We’re Hunting Wimmins! about, yes, the old trope of Capturing Female Readers (has it really been ten years since the Friends of Lulu retailer handbook?); and Ma, Can I Be a Feminist and Still Like Men? about Miles, her significant other and geek-partner (awwww, just really, awwww). A great addition to the Girl Wonder pantheon!

Elsewhere, it's still one step forward, two steps back as Paul Dini rips into Geena Davis and her See Jane organization, which "seeks to engage professionals and parents in a call to dramatically increase the percentages of female characters -- and to reduce gender stereotyping -- in media made for children 11 and under," for being a busybody do-gooder and not knowing anything about animation and gender stereotyping. Now granted, animation isn't necessarily "children's media" any more than comics is, and Davis (or her speechwriter) is quite likely cherry-picking examples to fit her point whilst ignoring lots of positive portrayals of girls in cartoons, some of which Dini lists. On the other hand, Dini (the head writer on DC's upcoming weekly series Countdown) is a member of the Default group of white men and perhaps hasn't noticed that "male characters still dominate television, movies, and other media for young children" as See Jane points out, because media is geared toward the Default. I think it's important when nitpicking not to lose sight of the big picture.

The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form).

Silly Site o' the Day

Oh heck, it's been on lots of high-traffic sites by now, so I may as well link to it as well: Dylan Hears a Who, which I first saw at Keith's blog on 27 February, so hooray Keith! Note, the Who in question is not the one with Daltrey and Townshend. Nor the one wherein David Tennant currently stars.

Estrogen Month - Day 9

As I feared, the ninth day with nary a suggestion from y'all, and I'm running out of people to spotlight on my own. Participation in this project is strongly encouraged! Surely there must be some feminist bloggers you want to see spotlighted here during Estrogen Month: Pop Culture Edition!

Me, I want to talk about Bibi of Bibi's Box, who describes herself as "A curious girl blogging to share and enjoy." She blogs about whatever cool pop-culture and weird stuff strikes her fancy, usually involving collections. Today she talks about the Comic Covers site, specifically their Detective Comics cover collection. Yesterday she had some great International Women's Day links, Wednesday she talked about the Belgian comics magazine Spirou, she's always finding cool photo journals and cartoons and such... well worth a perusal!

The guidelines for nominating and voting for feminist pop-culture bloggers during Estrogen Month are outlined here. I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31. The deadline for submissions is March 29, and guidelines are outlined here (please send links via email or use this submission form).

Sillly Site o' the Day

As if Suicide Squid weren't silly enough! Well, as long as we're talking about the birthday boy, who is one of the liberal blogosphere's most outspoken atheists, we may as well present the Where Is Your God Now? Generator, via Gerard.

The Squid Rides Again!

Whee, today is PZ Myers' 50th birthday! Let's put on our party hats!


Hey, how'd that get there?

Pictures swiped from here and here. I don't know that anyone could really do Suicide Squid justice -- well, except perhaps in a somewhat lame Myers-mandated poem, of course. Or in my case, song parody.

The Ballad of Suicide Squid
with apologies to Billy Joel

From the days of the rec.arts.comics newsgroups
Came a cephalopod who used to be a kid
And his boring life of ease
Underneath the seven seas
Earned him the name of Suicide Squid

Well, he put his tentacle inside a toaster
But forgot he couldn't plug the darned thing in
He tried maiming, he tried knives
It seemed he had too many lives
And he thought suicide was a sin

Well his attitude was heavy, so he always swam alone
And his sulks put many other squid to shame
And they say that he was friendless, but I think he had a clone
It's a comic book thing, they just change the name

From a town up in coldest Minnesota
Came a man with a penchant for the squid
And some other cephalopod
Though you think that may be odd
That's just the kind of thing Doc Myers did...

Well, that's quite enough of that. Happy number 50, PZ. I'm right behind you, by about 9 months...

Friday Cat Blogging (™ Kevin Drum)

Took some more close-ups last night in bed whilst Amy was in my lap and Datsa a few feet away. Enjoy.







I know there's two of Amy and only one of Datsa. It's much harder to snap Datsa being cute, so I usually wind up with at least twice as many shots of Amy.

Estrogen Month - Day 8

My new column is up at ComicMix. I switched days with John Ostrander this week, because yesterday marked the 10th anniversary of the death of his wife (and my hero) Kim Yale -- it also marked the 10th anniversary of the last day of my previous job which I loved, and precipitated lots of other life changes for me -- and as I wanted to have my column up on International Women's Day anyhow I had no objections. I think it's one of the stronger ones I've written, and the first one that tries to deal specifically with comics as opposed to pop culture in general or being All About Me. And it was inspired in part by posts from women comics bloggers, so there you are.

For those of you who came here from that column, thank you for reading it, and I welcome your comments here. Please feel free to scroll down through my Estrogen Month: Pop Culture Edition posts so far to find some of my recommendations for good feminist pop-culture bloggers, and please nominate some of your own! Estrogen Month guidelines are outlined here.

Today's recommendation is Leigh Dragoon of Leigh's Sketchblog, and what a lovely sketch she has up today! Leigh is the writer and artist of By the Wayside, a webcomic syndicated on Girlamatic, and last year's winner of Friends of Lulu's Kim Yale Award. She also serves as treasurer on FoL's current board of directors, and has been doing a yeoman's job trying to untangle some of the recent financial confusion in that organization once near and dear to my heart. I was active in Friends of Lulu for so many years (serving as NY chapter president, national membership secretary, and maintainer of the Women Doing Comics List) largely because of Kim Yale and her fervent and unwavering belief that Things Can Be Better for women in the comics industry, and I left largely because of what I perceived as financial mismanagement. If Leigh can help make FoL financially accountable and transparent again to its members and to the public (a necessity in a 501(c)3 charitable organization), I will certainly consider rejoining.

Daily reminder: I'm also hosting the 12th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy Fans on March 31, and guidelines for that are outlined here. The deadline for submissions is Thursday, March 29; please send links via email or use this submission form.

Free Agency

It's International Women's Day, and Blog Against Sexism Day!



[It's also Estrogen Month here at Pen-Elayne, so feel free to peruse the EM posts I've done so far this month, and stay tuned for my Day 8 post.]

Today I'd like to discuss agency, defined here as "the state of being in action or exerting power" but which is simply the ability of any person to think and do for themselves. Agency is taken for granted by the Default groups in a given society (usually straight white males); it would be absurd to assume that a man could not think and act for himself, unless he were disabled or president. But the Other, the non-Default, has no such luxury much of the time. The Other is to be acted upon by the Default; the Other only has the agency that the Default cedes, and importance only if the Default grants it be so.

And here we are well into the 21st century with still too many Default members believing and acting this way, whether by word or deed. We're all too sadly familiar with the deeds, still-ongoing oppressive practices (some religious in origin, some cultural, none natural) that help men in societal power rob women of their safety and personal comfort and bodily autonomy. These practices cannot and should not be minimized. But language is important as well; while not life-threatening the way deeds can be, words often indicate an ingrained mindset that perpetuates sexist behavior and makes it harder to break the cycle because oftentimes the perpetrators aren't even aware they're thinking in a sexist way.

The first thing for a man to remember when trying to grasp the concept of women having agency is that It's Not About Him. Ilyka presents an excellent example of trying to explain this concept, in the form of a conversation she had with her significant other. Excerpts:

"A lot of the guys written about on feminist blogs do things I would never do."

"Then don't identify with them. It's not about you! You stand to pee, they stand to pee, beyond that, what's the commonality?"

"...but the way you express things sometimes, isn't it just making it easier for men to get defensive?"

"No," I said firmly, "What we aren't doing is taking care of them. Nurturing them. Putting their feelings first. Looking out for them, making things safe for them. We aren't making them the center. We're talking just the way we'd talk, the way we do talk, when y'all aren't around."

"And you know sometimes that gets ugly," I continued, "but the thing to do then is to remember: Everything else IS centered around y'all..."

It does get tiresome to have to explain this basic premise of "It's Not Necessarily About You" every time one discusses sexism, but it's necessary because so many people internalize privilege to the point where they don't even see it as privilege, but as How Things Are. If society revolves around the Default, then any Others must also revolve around the same Default and give due deference. It's frustrating; if men say things offensive to women all the time without the hint of apology, why are women expected to qualify every utterance they make about men?

I learned a long time ago that the societal Default owns the language by which we communicate ideas, and so the Others must help the language itself evolve (not a difficult concept, language is always evolving) towards a more inclusive way of communicating. But something perhaps instinctual in us all (and certainly reinforced by socialization) rebels against even the thought of a loss of power or privilege, and refuses to allow that sharing does not equal loss. This knee-jerk reaction against sharing seems to come more from the Default (kids are often socialized that sharing is good, which continues to be encouraged for girls as they get older but not for boys).

So it is that the Default and representatives thereof create a fiction about "politically correct" speech rather than just saying "You know, these Others about whom we've been talking might have a point, and why go out of our way to be offensive if we can just as easily use common sense and common courtesy and communicate without pissing people off?" And they continue to assert their privilege to talk any gosh-darn way they want to, and so discourse breaks down still further and the gap between Default and Other widens that much more.

And this is not a left-right political thing, it's top-down, Default vs. Other. We've seen countless examples of it in the liberal blogosphere, where some consider it a badge of honor to glorify in George Carlin's Seven Dirty Words to counter the reactionary radical bloggers' glorification in ideas far more obscene and vulgar than words you can't use on network television. People circle their mental wagons around their right to be rude, particularly when it bothers those with whom they disagree but even when it bothers Others who are supposedly on "their side." And in asserting this right, they don't care or even see how they're denying agency to Others who have had very different experiences with the way language can victimize.

Again, Ilyka provides some context, in discussing the way one blogger refers to the "c" word as well within his right to use, among other words, "as a crotch-kick against pretension" and, besides, it's "just a fun word." Ilyka's simple response: "Sure it is, when you're a guy. When you've had it directed at you personally, not to refer to your parts but to reduce you to them, it's not such a blast," and goes on to observe that the "fun" meaning of the word "is achieved almost entirely from members of the class who have traditionally used the term, and scarcely at all from members of the class against whom it has been used." She despairs of liberal bloggers who throw a "neverending tantrum, weeping and wailing and gnashing teeth all over the internet, any time someone points out that their understanding of the context is incomplete due to the unavoidable limitations of their own lived experiences -- a point which should be obvious, and which any of these jackboot-licking nerds could easily prove or disprove merely by walking up to any large man of African-American descent and explaining to him why he shouldn't choose to find the n-word offensive." Or Photoshopped blackface, for that matter. I don't want to take too much of Ilyka's response out of context, so do read the whole post.

'Cause see, as long as the Default doesn't get that words matter, liberal Defaulters have no moral high ground on which to stand when they point out the absurdity of high school officials forbidding girls to use the word "vagina" during a reading of The Vagina Monologues (via Zuzu) or banning a Newbery-Medal-winning children's book in which the word "scrotum" appears.

As long as the Default gets to dictate the context of how words can be used and doesn't care what Others that context or those words might offend, they assert privilege and deny Others agency. The people whose agency affected by certain epithets ought to be the ones who decide how and when those epithets are employed, period. You the Default don't get to do that, any more than the Default gets to steal the Other's agency (and possibly job prospects) through recontextualizing photos without permission (accompanied, naturally, by the usual sexist language). This kind of speech is an unspoken privilege that must be relinquished -- shared -- in order to move beyond the kind of thought the language precipitates, and in order to begin to move beyond sexism.